Saturday, May 28, 2011

Settled: Good. Clingy: Bad.

This weekend, I undertake two journeys. First, I will delight in my childhood friend's wedding, humbling myself by going "all-out": hair and makeup, a navy evening dress, festivities and well-wishing. Then, my father and I fly to Guatemala, where we will travel through jungles, beaches, colonial cities, and whatever else the universe has in store.

A thought hangs  in the back of my mind, like a bat reluctant to let go and whip out of its cave and into the evening sky: I've been feeling so ... settled lately. And not in an "I'm settled because I scooped me up a good guy" kinda settled. But lately, stuff 'round these parts just feels right. I delight in a morning yoga class, followed by an hour spent reading a novel for fun, eating what I want, and sleeping when and as long as I want. Why would I want to leave?
Settled is great. Clingy, however... not so hot. When I get super-honest about what holds me back from complete friendliness to this experience, however, I notice a lot of the clingy stuff--my friends and family, my cats, my school, my yoga, my computer, my cereal, my Jon Stewart :-) I'm trying to remember that it will all be here when I get back and that the experience that awaits me--beaches, long bus rides, colonial cities, underwater adventures, Mayan ruins (even the recent drug cartel attack in Guatemala)-- is no worse, no better. Trying to remember that the clingy stuff is just fear. 
My Jon Stewart
For some reason, this quote from Pema Chodron is on "repeat" in my head this week: "I've seen it all, and I love it all."

Namaste, y'all!


Lady J said...

Have a wonderful time with your dad in Guatemala! Everything will be right where you left it when you get back, especially the yoga room :)

hannahjustbreathe said...

Guatemala! What an adventure! I'm jealous. Enjoy!! My father always said to me, "You'll be gone a lot longer than you'll be here"---such a good reminder to live in the moment, to soak up what's right there, right in front of you, because you will be there for such a short amount of time.

Have fun!

thedancingj said...

Ooooh, you climbed into my brain with this one. Nicely said!

thedancingj said...

Ooooh, you climbed into my brain with this one. Nicely said!