"Don't be scared. I've done this before."

Show me your teeth!

Lady Gaga, showin' her teeth.

I just had to start with a little tribute to the Mistress of the Monsters who got dissed at the Grammys on Sunday. (Yes, it's true. Normally I only admit to enjoying elitist music by the likes of Radiohead or Chopin, but. Uh. Gaga just rocks.)

I thought of Gaga in class tonight as my scaredy-cat self was trying to dictate how the last of the standing postures would pan out. I mentioned in a previous post that I've been dealing with some health issues and am taking it slow in class. Having gotten a squeaky-clean bill of health from the doctor just before class, though, I figured I was ready to push through the fear--at least a little, and always with listening to the body, of course.

One of the side effects of the medication being fatigue, the standing series has been tough to get through since I've been back. In my usual state of being, I've gotten into kind of an easy-breezy zone with it. I can get through the standing series doing the postures. But I don't always feel them very much. I figure that means I am not usually giving the 110% the teachers ask for ;-)

So, after Balancing Stick today, I was feeling dizzy, lightheaded, seeing stars, you know what happens. I decided to take it easy and sit down. But what do the teachers say after Balancing Stick? "It's the triple exposure effect! Do you feel a little nauseous, dizzy? Do you feel terrible? Good! Something is happening!" Doh. The jig is up. It's not just me.

Of course, you know what comes after Balancing Stick's cardiovascular workout: you get to calm your body down a little bit with the forward bending posture. It's all about balance. You can trust how the series is set up--some postures get your body juiced and some calm it back down. You take advantage of the wildly-flowing blood as you stretch the tendons and ligaments and get the blood to those starving, cut-off areas.

Maybe some would be troubled that I was taking words of advice from Lady Gaga, but the lyrics from her song "Teeth" vibrated in my head as I got up to do the forward bend. "Don't be scared," I recited. "I've done this before!" Admittedly, I did sit out the second set of Balancing Stick, but I kept my butt off the floor for the rest of standing series, sans one set of Separate Head-to-Knee.

All in all, it was a very decent class, especially considering the changes. I'm feeling really grateful this week.

(On a sorta-related FYI: According to Bikram's book/common sense, if you suffer from hypertension, you're also supposed to take it easy on Full Bow and Camel. Technically, you're not supposed to do those poses at all without a teacher present.)

I must also share with you what happened in the doctor follow-up visit today. He turned the screen to me and said: "Look at your levels! Even the non-medication-related levels are all perfect! Now, tell me about this yoga you were going on about last week. I need to lose weight." Of course, I obliged :-) I even shared the "never too late!" quote when he expressed concern about being overweight.

I am one of those people who is reluctant to push anything as a cure-all, even if I love it. I will not say that Bikram is a cure-all, and honestly, I don't think it's for everyone. But jeez-oh-man, so many things I've heard in the class that I initially thought were bogus have been proven true in my meaningless, little body in the last few months. There's something so special about it.

Thanks for reading :-) There's something very moving about knowing there's a Bikram community out there!

Starting from Scratch (Again!)

I’m entitling this post with a saying Bikramites are all-too-familiar with. Most of you have heard it about 8,582 times, but for those who haven’t, Bikram yoga instructors will often break out this saying, especially when you’ve finished a particularly grueling set of poses: "Never too late, never too old, never too bad, never too sick to start from the scratch once again." There’s always a second chance, there’s always a second set. No matter how many times I hear that saying, I never get tired of it.

I mentioned in my previous post that I was having some health issues that prevented me from getting to class for a while. My doc diagnosed me as hypertensive (I know, right? What the hell?) and insisted I stay home from work and skip rigorous exercise until the medication kicked in.

I walked into my first class back feeling a little cocky. My blood pressure was back down into the “acceptable” range, and the preliminary blood test had come out perfect. Although I was little tired, I felt I was ready for a triumphant return—no more troubling symptoms! Plus, my previously abnormal cholesterol, thyroid, and glucose levels? Back to the optimal range. Kidney and liver functions? Baby, I’d tell you, but then I’d have to live in fear of the organ harvesters.

That confidence was shaken by the end of pranayama deep breathing. My arms actually got fatigued by the end of first set. I barely made it through Eagle pose (the third pose in the series) before I had to sit down. The rest of the class I must have looked like one of those ping-pong balls. You know, the ones tied to the paddle? I was up and down throughout the entire standing series. I could barely stay in the room.

Even though I wasn't working hard, my heart rate felt high, so I just kept to the floor for most of the class. At one point I stole a glance in the mirror and could see my heartbeat vibrating in my belly. As the rest of the class was lifting into elegant Bow pose, I was crying into my towel thinking “this is it. I’m dying in here. I won’t be able to do this anymore.”

By Fixed Firm, though, I had gotten it together. My teacher tells us occasionally that every day, every body is different. To get through the class, I would have to reframe it. Today, the yoga was not spending half of the class on the floor; the yoga was doing 13 of the 26 rigorous postures in an intense environment while my body was adjusting to the new medication. I’m still getting benefits, even if I’m not “performing” at my usual level.

I still had one hurdle to clear. The doctor told me to get a blood pressure monitor and to check it occasionally. I could not let it get up to the level it had been before. I knew that if I was hypertensive after getting home from yoga, I’d have to rethink everything.

But guess what?

OK, you yogis guessed it. After I’d gotten home, I checked the blood pressure and it was fine. In fact, it was the lowest it’s been since I started the medication. I was so relieved I almost started crying again.

So, as I did in the class today, I’m trying to reframe this whole experience. Yes, I had a health scare last week, and yes, I have to go on medication that has some weird side effects. Yes, I still have to get more tests. But—and I don’t want to exaggerate or jump to conclusions--I must point out that the preliminary blood test results are optimal, where they were slightly abnormal before doing the yoga. I had the opportunity to demonstrate the tremendous benefits the yoga can offer.

I’m going to have to adjust my expectations. Big time! So long as the doctor continues to give me a green light, though, I can continue practicing. And guess what? I have the opportunity to start from scratch. Again!