Thursday, August 12, 2010

It's over. It begins.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, man.

My summer, with all of its sprawling, easy ups and downs it included this year draws to a close. Next week, I head back to the classroom. No more staying up as late as I want, no more lying by the pool, no more catching up with friends, and worst of all, no more intimate, midweek 9:00 a.m. yoga classes.

(An aside: isn't it funny how easily the time fills up when we're on vacation? That to-do list I avoided all semester pretty much got avoided all summer.)

Mainly, I'm happy to be going back to work. I like routine. Alright, I admit it: I love routine, so long as everything's perfectly balanced, like we are in Standing Bow-Pulling Pose. I love getting up with the alarm, taking my shower, doing the hair and makeup, enjoying coffee and a shake before heading to work. I like opening to the door in my office--usually, I'm the first in the building to arrive--turning on the computer, and settling down to finalize plans before classes start.

OK, OCD girl. Maybe it's good to take a break from routine now and then. This summer has been a time for some serious self-study. I can't help but think it's reflected in the attitude I've had with my yoga practice lately. I walk into the studio, practice hard, and then I just let it go. Even better, I can usually be quite present in each posture and then them one go when they're over. I don't cling to the "hard" postures and how I performed them the way I did in May. There's almost the same level of anticipation getting into Standing Bow or Triangle as there is getting into Fixed Firm or Final Spinal. (Dunno about how it is for you, but for me, that's huge. I see now how much anxiety I carry, even in the class itself.)

Let me emphasize: I am not bragging. I love "where I am" right now. But I bet the lessened in-class anxiety has more to do with giving up that semester-length routine I typically cling to than it does some deep, inner work. Yes, I've made some progress. I think. I hope this new peace with my yoga practice sticks around, but I'm prepared to accept things as they are if that peace slips away with the stress of the semester.

The summer's over, but life is always beginning again, just like we "start from scratch" in yoga each time. It'll be good to get back to teaching, even if it means I'll have to practice at 6:30 a.m. a couple of times a week. 

And yay, routine! OMG, I can't wait for the alarm to go off on Monday! :-)


Lush said...

I'm not afraid saying this, I LOVE routines. Haha! :) After all, we're creatures of habits. So I can completely understand what you mean about looking forward to the alarm ringing on next Monday. It's kind of how I felt when I was in school, on Sunday night I often could not sleep, because I was giddily looking forward to go back to school on Monday morning (plus I love fall season the best)! It represents a calmly fresh beginning, a clean slate, a reset. I agree that as in bikram yoga, we should feel that "reset" every time we step into the room. I said "should" because I know I don't always get that mindset switched. It's practicing that mindset in yoga that matters the most, though.

lz said...

I totally know what you mean with the routines! I enjoy them too - knowing where you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be doing provides this sense of security that is nice :) And hey, Bikram yoga is good for this! Because the 26-posture series never changes, even if our practice everyday does.
Good luck teaching this fall! It's funny, our schedules are sort of opposite - I taught for the entire summer and I go back to school in the fall. What subject do you teach?

Yolk E said...

Thanks for the comments, chicas :-)

Lz, I teach English--freshman comp, essentially. What about you? (By the way, congrats on finishing teaching! Enjoy your time in the student seat!)